Let's recall that in one of the chapters of the "Introduction" section I said that time is one of our most valuable resources and that it's severely limited. If you take away work and sleep, not that much time remains. We'll keep this thought in mind throughout the chapter below.
I don't know about you, but I was often asked by many acquaintances, relatives and neighbours to help with this or that. First, I'm the only one among acquaintances who understands electronics; second, one of the few with a driver's licence who can be asked to go somewhere, even for a small extra fee. This incredibly annoyed me and was one of the main triggers to move away from my native place. Almost everyone who couldn't be bothered used my inability to refuse and kindness. Yes, I often got some rewards for it, often in the form of money or sweets. I don't know why everyone decided I've a sweet tooth, since I don't particularly like sweets. But that's at least not the strangest. For example, among my mum's acquaintances there was one who paid for computer repairs with frozen fish. Well, at least not in kind, and thanks for that.
With age my character became more hardened, and I more and more often found the strength to say "no" to everyone I couldn't refuse before. Besides, I completely stopped needing petty and, even more so, food-related thanks. And most importantly — I started looking at my time differently and valuing it more.
By nature people often fear saying "no" out of softness of character, fear of offending the person asking, since one day the situation might change and you yourself will have to ask something of this person. But as my personal experience shows, you still need to find the strength and be able to say "no". Of course, not to everyone, and the closest deserve exceptions, but in general requests from people truly close to you are usually minor. Instead of doing something important for your goals, you're busy with someone else's affairs and spending your energy, time, and sometimes nerves on someone.
The ability to say "no" can be useful not only in life but at work too. Do you know what distinguishes a good programmer from a bad one? Some will say experience, some — the ability to solve difficulties and problems on their own, some will say that a good programmer writes code that's easy to maintain and that even a beginner can understand. All these answers are correct, but there's another: the ability to say "no". Far from all programmers have the courage to tell their manager or director that their request and task are absurd and that nothing will come of it. Of course, it's better not just to say "no" but to argue with your personal experience and examples. But in my experience, few programmers can say "no", and almost everyone spinelessly does what they're told to do, even if they'll have to roll it back later.
Whether in personal life or at work, remember the message of this chapter and don't be afraid to refuse and say "no". In personal life you'll free up time for yourself and can do something more important for yourself or your family. At work, by saying "no" to one task you'll free up time you can spend on another. To conclude the chapter I'll use a quote from the book "Frog, Elephant and Broccoli" by Alexey Markov, who in turn refers to one of the richest people in the world — Warren Buffett: "You must not let other people create your plans". I don't know if this phrase belongs to Buffett or someone else, but I fully agree with it.
